Inhibition
by ThePreachingNarwhal
Summary: Living with all these boys blows chunks. Especially when Steve and Two-Bit call me out for being on my period. Especially when Darry keeps hollerin at me to 'be a lady' and 'mind my manners.' In retrospect, maybe if I had listened I wouldn't be knee deep in all this shit.
1. Chapter 1

**Thanks to everyone who has helped tremendously with this fic like camRox and 7.06andcounting! Seriously couldn't have done this without you**

* * *

I look at her. Her with the frail body and strung out hair. Her with the tight pants and full bangs. Her with the monitors hooked up to what looks like every orifice. They beep steadily and I sit close to where she lays.

Soda is in the corner of the room, arms crossed. Darry is near the door, guilt carved into his face. Darry sent her here to get fixed. It's the worst decision he made since hitting me.

I can't believe he would bring her here. To get cut open. To die. Soda is by my side rubbing my shoulders before I noticed I was crying.

"America will be fine Pony kid. Doc says she will wake up soon."I reach out to her without moving my position. She's scared. Not as scared when mom and dad died. That was the scariest moment of our lives.

Everything was easier when they were still around, before Darry had to step up. But the past few years have just been too much to handle without them.

xxxxxxxx

See that sick girl in the bed? Yeah that me. Jeepers do I look pale. And thin. And gross.

After mom and dad died, we were okay for a while but then it just went all to shit and I guess that's why I'm here. Before mom and dad died everythin was just easier.

Maybe my brothers and I wouldn't have to grow up so fast if they were alive. Maybe Soda wouldn't be riskin all he's got and and maybe Darry wouldn't have to live with the unsurmountable weight of his decisions; If they were alive.

September 1966

"Ow! Ponyboy move over," I said to him pushing him out of the mirrors view. The ribbons in my hair were just not staying. And his splashing toothpaste did not help at all. When I was younger I remember thinkin my brothers were the bestest thing ever cause I always had someone to hang out with. But then we all became teenagers and its not as fun. They get moody and explosive.

Sodapop flung the shower curtain and stepped out into the crowded bathroom dripping proceeded to shake his hair like a dog. I slapped him in the chest and said,

"Move over, asshole!" He just laughed but Darry didnt find it so funny,

"America I oughtta wash your mouth out with soap for talkin like that." His voice was far away and gruff. But he meant it. Soda's best buddy Steve stomped through the never locked front door while Darry was in the middle of cussin me out,

"No lady should be speaking like that." It was embarassing when he hollered at me when people were over, especially with that smug look on Steve's face. And when did he expect me to be a lady? My ears felt hot and I sensed Ponyboy's gaze. Tearin the ribbons out of my hair I exclaimed,

"You all talk that way, you ain't no better than me!"

"Aren't any better," he corrected," Now hurry up or y'all be late for school."

"Yeah, little lady," Steve taunted, flicking my nose. I ran into the kitchen grabbing an apple for breakfast. Ponyboy was still in the bathroom, searching for a hint of beard.

"Think you're growing seedlings, kiddo?" I heard Steve mock. Ponyboy bristled with anger. He hates Steve. I brushed past Darry without looking him in the eye and grabbed Ponyboys arm,

"Come on, we gotta jam if we dont want to be late."

Ponyboy sat next to me in the backseat of Steve's self proclaimed 'souped up ride' waiting for Sodapop to find his shoes. The door bust open and Soda came flying out with Steve and Superman on his heels. And just as I thought I was in the clear from his wrath, Darry came up right next to the car and said,

"Come home right after school and pick up a bit. I don't want social services to come by and see this mess."

"Darry come on! Why me?" I whined. I swear he wasn't always like this.

"Cause Soda and me are working and Ponyboy has track. So quit complaining." Steve jammed the key into the ignition and peeled out of our dirt driveway. The radio was blasting while him and Soda shouted over it talkin bout some girl using words I shouldnt know. Ponyboy turned to look at me and I tried to hide my pouting.

I was so mad at Darry, but I didnt want to pout. Teenagers don't pout and Ponyboy and I just turned fourteen less than a month ago. Soda and Pony get all the breaks Darry always lets them go out, even if its a school night. They get to see their friends and run around town doing Lord knows what. But I have to stay home. But I guess it ain't like I got any friends anyway. I never made a lot of other friends when I was young cause I thought my brothers were all I needed. Now they just get in the way, making a mess, hollerin at all hours of the night, and using all the hot water. Two-Bit's sister was pretty tuff but I never got to see her much.

Now all the guys get weird when I'm there, like conversation is discouraged. Like when people are talkin about something they don't want you to know and they get that's real low whisper? Makes you feel like a real skuzz.

"Youre just bitter," Ponyboy says to me in a low voice as Steve's car screams around another corner.

"You say somethin, America?" Soda twisted around in his seat looking at me.

"No," I responded.

* * *

After school I played Cinderella. I ignored Angela Shepard's calls as I walked home. She wanted to hang out but I'm pretty sure she just wanted to see Ponyboy.

Soda came home first and promptly made a mess of the semi clean living room.

"Atleast pick your shoes up," I begged him. He grinned at me devilishly, picking them up and holding them at arms length. Looking me in the eye he dropped them again and began laughing. I tackled him, or atleast tried to. But he was too big and heavy.

"Soda, lets go play catch," I told him. He hesitated,

"I dunno, America. I don't want you getting all roughed up."

"I ain't never got roughed up I'll be fine," I protested.

"Come on, lets go the store and we can get stuff for dinner," he suggested. Damn he was good at distracting me.

While we were walking into town we found Ponyboy leaning against a store front with Curly Shepard.

"What goin on man," Soda walked up, flipping his collar.

"Nothing much," Curly said stomping out a cigarette, "what's shakin, America?" I looked up from my feet, stunned he was talking to me. I wish I could tell you that I had the perfect comeback, but the words were stuck to the roof of my mouth like peanut butter.

"Same ol," I stuttered as he stared at me with wolffish eyes. No one else seemed to notice.

"We were headin down the the grocer, russle up some sort of dinner," Soda explained.

"We'll hoof it with you," Ponyboy said. Soda talked with Ponyboy about school and how track practice went that day. He answered with some showy responses. Trying to look tough in front of Curly, I bet.

The walk wasn't long at all, but we stopped to talk to a lot of people, like Dallas who was hanging out with some guys from the Brumly outfit. I think they started talking about a rumble that was happening at the end of the week,

"You gonna be there, Shepard?" Dally asked flicking his cigarette. Curly put on his trademark scowl and said,

"I ain't no coward."

It wasn't until Sylvia showed up and hung all over Dallas that I really just wanted to go the market. She sashayed her way up to him, swinging her hips like girls do when they want something.

"Get off me, Syl," he demanded her with a glare. She kissed him on the check instead and sat on the hood of the car next to him. She was tryin real hard to get his attention, twirling her hair, showing the gap between her dress and chest. But Dally just went on with his normal conversation with his buddies, something about a hot rod I think. Eventually she started huffing and threatened to storm off.

"Then just go, babe," he said exasperatedly, "I'm trying to finish business right now."

Then Sylvia fired some choice words at Dally, all of which seemed to bounce right off his bullet proof exterior as he kept a cool tuff expression on his face. She stormed off and Dally smirked at his own superiority.

* * *

Darry was home just in time for dinner. I made some sort of chicken. Well it was actually the same sort of chicken we've been having for a while cause it was the only recipe out of mom's cook book I could follow. Ponyboy talked with his mouthful and Soda imitated him, spraying mashed potatoes across the table. Darry and I were in tears we laughed so hard.

Then we sat in front of the tv watchin Gun smoke. I wished I could run away to a new land and make my own rules, just like Marshall and Kitty did. I'd be free to do what I want and all the fun bustin adventures would come with it. Maybe I'd toss a few back in the saloon. Or I'd hog tie some redskins just for kicks.

Darry wasn't even watchin it cause his face was down while Soda was trying to rub a muscle in his back.

"America, will you walk on my back?" Darry looked up. This was the first time in a while I felt he actually asked me something. It was one of the last times, too.

"Thanks, sis," he mumbled sleepily.

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**reviews are greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading and give me all your feedback!**


	2. Chapter 2

I was glad Darry asked me to walk on his back. As much as he got on my nerves bossin me around all the time, he does work real hard for me, Pony, and Soda. Harder than he should have to. He just had his twentieth birthday.

I wish I could remember how hard he works all the time cause maybe then I wouldn't try and piss him off so bad. But as a little sister, as my Dad always said, it was my job to pester my brothers; it was the natural order of things.

* * *

I woke up early the next morning so I could talk to Darry. I laid out the paper for him at the table in front of his chair. When his bare feet padded into our small kitchen I handed him a cup of coffee. He grumbled a thanks and say down to sip and read, like he did every morning.

"Hey Darry," my voice wavered.

"Hmmm?" He grunted, eyes not leaving the paper.

"I um need some money, I gotta stop off at the store after school." He sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes,

"You know we don't just have extra money lying around. We gotta be smart about what we spend it on," his voice sounded hurt. I stared him in the cold ice blue eyes for what seemed like an eternity before I could even begin to form a sentence,

"It's for you know..." I gestured to my hips with my hands. He kept staring. His eyes pierced through my body. God this was mortifying.

"Girl stuff?" I tried. When he didn't give any reaction I added," You know, time of the month.."

"Ohhhh!" He exclaimed as if a lightbulb was turned on over his head. He handed me three bucks and we didn't talk for another twenty minutes.

Golly I was glad my other brothers weren't awake to hear that conversation. I wish I had a mom to talk to this stuff about. Or just another girl. But unfortunately Darry had to be the one who helped me through it all, despite his disgust. Darry always says ladies should keep some things behind closed doors.

_March 1966_

_I knew somethin was wrong when I woke up in the middle of the night. Mostly cause I always sleep through the night unless Ponyboy starts thrashin around or if Soda drunk stumbles into the wrong room. I think it's funny, he gives me lots of hugs and tells stories of what it was like when Pony and I were born,_

_"They couldn't believe it, not havin one, but TWO more kids! Oh man!" Soda exclaimed._

_"Shhhh Soda! Ponyboy is sleepin!" I warned him._

_"New born babies are real gross you know? All red and squishy..."_

_"Yah mom and dad probably wanted to send us back or somethin."_

_"When you an Pony were babies," he snorted with laughter," Darry and I would switch your clothes. You should've heard dad scream when he changed your diaper!"_

_But this was different. I wasnt woken up by some drunken rambling or someone else's nightmare. My legs and panty girdle felt wet. And my night down was sticking to me. The clock on my night stand read 2:07am. I was tired and comfy and warm and I didn't want to get out of bed. But I didn't know what was going on._

_So I crept out of bed, bare feet on the cold wooden floors. The bathroom light revealed my fears. My legs were stained with blood and my nightgown too. I felt dizzy. What do I do? What's going to happen? What does this mean for my brothers? They can't go through something like this again! I started to hyperventilate. I started to pace. A knock on the door made me jump like a june bug.__  
_

_"Something's wrong," Ponyboy whispered to me through the cracked door. His eyes were tired and his voice was barely there._

_"Ponyboy," I whimpered. _

_ "What's wrong?"_

_"Ponyboy I'm dying!" I sobbed._

_"You're dying!" He asked, panic stricken,"why are you dying?"_

_"I'm bleeding internally, I'm loosing too much blood, I'm gonna die!" I wailed,"All of my organs are going to fail, an then my heart will pump all the blood out of my body an there will be nothing left cause I'm bleedin so much an I'll die cause there won't be nothin left in me!"_

_"You're not gonna die. Come on let's go get Darry and we can take you to the hospital!" I stayed crying in on the hard bathroom floor counting my seconds of life and wishing I did so much more. Darry and came rushing in. He looked at me with my tear stained face and my blood soaked nightgown._

_"Oh... Oh. America why don't you come in my room for a sec?" Darry said slowly, the fear draining from his face._

_"Darry we don't have time!" Ponyboy cried._

_"She's not dying," Darry grabbed my hand and led me to his room._

Darry studdered out the period talk and how girls were different from boys. And that when they get this special time they bleed a lot and yell and scream and cry. They also couldn't go swimming or do any sports or go out and play when this happened. I was so embarrassed, why didn't mom warn me about this period thing? I'm still upset about it. Maybe if she was still around she coulda told me. She could've explained all the girl stuff that was happening to me now. If she could've I wouldn't have to go find my own answers. Like what bra size to buy or how to put lipstick on right. I just had to learn everything, I'm too damn curious Soda says. He said Ponyboy an me always used to follow Darry around like lost kittens asking annoying questions. Maybe that's why I go hunting for danger, cause I just gotta know.

And danger is what the Shepard family is made of.

I wouldn't say Darry doesn't like the Shepard family. He just don't like his family and the Shepard family gettin all mixed up. He respects Tim for sure cause everyone on the east and west side of Tulsa does. (_Plus after Dallas Winston died we saw more of him. I think he really missed Dally and he knew we were the only other people in the world who did too. __Sometimes Tim worked part time with Darry, if the company was short handed. But I doubt Tim would ever give up his greasy hood ways. He just got better an better at hiding it from the public eye.)_

I wish I could tell you there was something romantic between me an Curly. I wish I could tell you he made me swoon. I wish I could tell you he treated me like a princess and wasn't afraid to beat up any guy who looked at me cross ways. But I'm sure his feelings for me were summed up in the words he said while I came out of the store, feminine products in bags by my sides in June 1966

"Hey Curtis," he greeted nonchalantly.

"Hey yourself," my voice replied. He had a tuff look on his face.

"Did you see where Angela ran off to?" I asked. I begged Darry to let me go with her to the store. I didn't want Two-Bit or Steve or Johnny or even Ponyboy to have to go with me. I needed another girl. Plus I was fourteen years old, I could handle it.

"Hell if I should know, doll," he shrugged, eyes never leaving the ground.

"She's probably off cursin loud enough to get senior guys' attention," I clamped my hand over my mouth as soon as I said that. All of the Shepard crew would be after me for bad mouthin their own sister. If Darry was here he's whack me up side the head.

But all Curly said was laugh and told me,

"You dig okay Curtis." I searched my purse for some change so I could call Sodapop at the DX. Everyone told me walking alone wasn't safe especially when you're a greaser skirt. So maybe I wasn't that dangerous of a kid because I was semi-relieved when Curly offered to walk with me.

"It's no biggie," he insisted," I was going that way anyways."

"All the way out to my neighborhood?" I mocked him. He shrugged with a confident smirk on his face, one he adapted from his big brother Tim. Curly isn't like Tim, he tries to have that all knowing walk and intimidating talk but it just doesn't match up. Maybe that's why I felt more comfortable around him.

"You never know where business takes you, doll."

"Yeah I hear sometimes it leads you up telephone poles. And them all the way back down to the ground," I really gotta learn to think before I say shit. His glare said it all but he added,

"Don't you get all mouthy with me." I thought he'd really let me have it, but instead a dangerous grin creeped across his face and he asked, "Wana see the scar?" I nodded eagerly and he rolled up his sleeve to reveal a long jagged mark down his left tricep and through his elbow. I touched it lightly.

"Yeah, I got three screws put in," he bragged. We stopped on front of my house and i complemented him,

"It's pretty tuff. Thanks for walking with me." I headed up the steps but his confident voice stopped me,

"Hey Mark is having a party this Friday. You should go with me." A party? With Curly Shepard? I couldn't be caught dead. Everything started movin real fast and I think I was staring at his tanned face with open mouth for way too long. So I scrambled and found the lamest excuse,

"Sorry Curly I um have to um, I can't." I ran inside and closed the door. My social skills really could use some work.

* * *

"So what's this Curly Shepard walking you home?" Darry interrogated me at the dinner table, "I thought you were only with Angela."

"She ran off," I answered quietly, realizing how fake that sounded.

"Uh huh," he grunted disbelievingly," You best steer clear of him. For your own good." I don't think he meant it as stern as he said it. It was really just a warnin but for se reason, maybe cause Aunt Flo was visiting, I was miffed.

"What?!" I cried incredulously," Ponyboy buddies around him all the time and we're the same age! It ain't fair!" I couldn't give two shits about Curly, but I hate when Darry pulls the double standard.

"I don't care if it ain't fair," his eyes piercing cold into my body.

I didn't say anything more regarding the topic. But the next day at school I found Curly leaning on the lockers outside of the boys bathroom with the same thug attitude. I tapped him on the shoulder and asked,

"What time does the party start?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much to my wonderful reviewers! it really helps me to know that I'm writing for someone **

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Friday night, Soda had plans with Steve an Evie an Sandy. they were goin out to the tasty freeze. Sandy and Evie were so pretty, blonde hair and flawless honey milk skin. They always knew the right thing to say. I was green with envy.

Ponyboy made plans with Johnny and Dally to see a movie, hoping to meet Two-Bit somewhere in their travels.

An I sat at home with Darry that night. An I waited. An waited. An waited. An waited some more. I was hoping he would go to bed earlier giving me lots of time to put on make up and sneak out my window.

Usually he went out with his football buddies on nights like these. But instead he sat there, drinking beer after beer with the occasional belch escaping his lips. We both just stared at the tv screen. No words. Just fizzy burps and Jimmy Durante persuading all us audience members to buy cornflakes.

It was ten o clock and I said good night to Darry. Closing the door tightly behind me, I pulled out the blouse and skirt I was gonna wear. And then I turned off the lights cause I didn't want him to think I was still awake. I moved silently, paranoid of any creaky floor boards.

Ten minutes later, he still wasn't in bed and I wanted to scream! Id hate for Curly to think I was ditching him. I grabbed my flashlight and carefully put on my eyeliner in a little hand mirror. I had never used it before but I had seen lots of girls put it on in the bathroom before and it didn't look hard at all.

boy was I wrong. Ten minutes later I had failed to line my eyes neatly an it was smeared all over my face. I settled on lipstick instead. And it took forty minutes of me sneaking around holding my breath until glass collided with glass and the tv shut off. I didn't dare move but I strained my ears an heard Darry shut his door. I waited for what felt like an eternity in silence, still as a statue.

I turned my light on, found my shoes and checked my outfit. My skirt was well above my knees, and I hoped Curly would notice. I tiptoed out of my room, heart thudding. My steps sounded so loud. I pressed my ear agains Darry's door and to my relief, I heard him snorin. Scuttling back to my room, I stuffed my pillows beneath my blankets just in case and left a note for Ponyboy cause he would freak out and maybe he'd cover for me if anything happened. I dont think I can remember a time where Pony hadnt slept in the same room.

I lifted the heavy window, making a shriekin resonant sound. I was terrified it would wake Darry. So I stood there an after another two minutes waitin for him to come bustin into my room. Nothing happened. I shimmied out the opening.

It wasn't that graceful, I practically fell out of the window into the the weeds growing beside the house while flashing the entire neighborhood my panties. And for once I was glad I wasn't some big time soc with a big house cause it woulda made sneakin out an impossible mission. I can't imagine trying to drop down from a two story house.

I climbed over our chain link fence and headed for the sidewalk. Every three steps I couldn't fight the urge to look over my shoulder and check the house. I was terrified that the house would illuminate and Darry would come chargin after me.

But the night was warm a I felt more comfortable the farther away from the house I got.

Curly's mischievous grin greeted me at the end of my street,

"You're late. And you're lucky I didn't leave." I didn't want to tell Curly I had to sneak out, I was cool enough to go to parties on Friday nights like everyone else.

"Yeah, sorry," I lied," couldn't decide what to wear." His eyes scoured my body,

"Lookin just fine to me." The comment made me so uncomfortable for a split second I thought about running back home. But it also made me feel real good, and naughty I guess, so I smiled shyly instead.

He didn't have a car, so we hadda walk. Which wasn't all that bad.

When we got closer to town, Curly abruptly changed his direction into a darker side street.

"Does Mark live in a alley way?" I teased.

"No but the fuzz sure does love to catch kids who look like theyre up to no good at night," he smiled.

"You're up to no good in the day neither," I teased. He lit up a smoke, flicking the zippo lighter just like Tim taught him, an kept walking,

"You know me, doll."

We turned the corner again and buildings surrounded us on both side squeezing our bodies together. I felt our hips connect and we walked in identical steps for a few strides. His jeans were cold against my legs.

Apparently Curly had already been drinking. I felt stupid for not noticing it right away. I only knew cause he pulled out a half empty bottle from inside his jacket.

"Have a sip," he encouraged. I was feeling tough an grown up, so I took a couple a swigs.

"Don't drain me!" He said after I snagged a third gulp. It burned my mouth like no other but I put all my effort into not scowlin after the poison slipped down my throat. I felt like my breath was a fire and my core shivered. Alcohol is disgustin. I felt guilty, and my cheeks starated to burn,

"Sorry." He grinned at me and took the bottle back. After sipping some more himself he said,

"You'll crash fore we even get to the party!" I kept blushing and he said," it all good just remember to say your prayers: Now I lay me down to sleep, a bottle of vodka at my feet, if I shall die before I wake tell my friends I drank it straight!" He must've heard that one from somewhere else, but I laughed pretty hard at it.

An I guess I underestimated how strong Curly's drink was, cause I was starting to feel warm. But then I got the shivers. And before I knew I was hanging into his arm hoping it'd warm me up. He grinned down at me, placing his arm around my shoulders.

Mark's house had the curtains were drawn and the lights low. Music blasting from every window, it sounded like John Lennon. Ick.

"c'mon," he pulled my stumbling body towards the back yard,"lets get in through the back." Mark greeted us at the door, atleast I hope it was Mark cause after him and Curly exchanged brief pleasantries, I shouted,

"Hi Mark!" I laughed and clung to Curly tighter as we walked through the front door into the livin room. I promptly took a seat on his couch next to a girl I recognized from school. I don't know where Curly went off to, the room was moving too quickly for me to catch up to it.

"Didn't think I'd find you here, America," this one girl said. I didnt know her name, but I always saw her and her best friend walking together in the hall. Her friend was busy lockin lips with some other familiar looking boy. I think that's why she kept talkin to me,

"You came here with Curly Shepard?"

I didn't trust my mouth to answer the question without sounding like a ditz. So I nodded instead.

"Why?" She asked with a quizzical look on her face. Cause I had nothin better to do. Cause he asked. Cause he made me laugh with his dirty jokes. Cause I wasn't a little girl anymore. But instead I lied,

"Cause he bought the drinks." She nodded like she understood. Curly came back with that evil grin on his face and offered me a hand up,

"Lets go play a game."

"I _love_ games!" I squealed. I waved bye to her and followed Curly into the kitchen where a couple other guys and gals were sittin with bottles. He pulled up wooden chairs for the both of us and handed me a beer.

"Im sure youll love this game," Curly winked. Then some kid with a stocky build who I didn't recognize explained the rules of spin the coin,

"I'm going to spin the coin, and then I'm going to shout out someone's name, they either have to stop the coin standing up or flick it so it keeps spinning and yell someone else's name. If they knock the coin over or if it goes off the table they have to drink."

"Think you can handle this?" Curly challenged me.

"Try me!" I tried to copy his dangerous smile. So the greaser who started the game called out Curly's name. And of course him being an old pro flicked the coin and called mine. I lined up the coin and pressed it, thumb on the top. _SMACK! _It landed flat on its side. Curly laughed and watched me drink.

"how's that handling going?" He teased.

Every time Curly's turn was called he sent it to me. my hands were shaking without me telling them to, and my flicks always landed exactly where I didn't want them and my stops always knocked the coin over. I titled the bottle back to my lips and Curly elevated the bottom with his finger.

The room was slanted by the time we had finished two rounds of the game and my body felt like it was on a carnival ride, it was a real gas. I couldn't stop gigglin if I tried.

but I knew I had to get home soon, cause Ponyboy would worry. An I kinda missed him right now.

"Cuuuurly," I tugged on his shirt sleeve," will you walk me home?" He quickly obliged, barely saying goodbye to Mark before we were out the door.

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	4. Chapter 4

**I love all my loyal reviewers, you all really helped me get through my writers block! Thanks so much!**

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"What's your real name?" I blurted out as I tried my best not to fall over into the alley's brick walls. He flicked his cigarette's ashes away from me and said,

"Curly is my real name."

"N-no it aint!" I pushed his chest playfully.

"Honest to Christ, it is!" He said with smile.

"You were not named Curly Shepard. Uh-huh, I don't believe it, no sir!" I rambled. He tripped on a crack in the middle of our walkway and I started to laugh uncontrollably.

When Curly recovered he looked up at me. He was not happy. My face fell into stone. He stared at me with his green reckless eyes.

And then, he broke into a smile and laughed. I laughed with him and he said between gasps for air,

"Y-you should've seen the look on your f-f-face! Hahahah!" I wiped tears from my eyes and struggled to stay upright and walking, my limbs felt heavy and the roller coaster feeling had not left.

"S-sho what's your real name?" I asked again, my street was coming into sight and I was trying to sober myself for the climb back through the window.

"I tell you what," he stopped walking exactly at the same place where we had met,"I'll trade you for it." I tried to cock my eyebrow like I saw Pony and Two-Bit do.

"what kind o-o-of trade?" I crossed my arms, hopin it added an effect that my slurring didn't.

"I'll tell you," he took a step closer," if you kiss me." I hugged my body and looked up into his shifty eyes.

I swung my head around quick and pecked him on the cheek.

"so what's your name?"

"That wasn't a real kiss!" He complained and stepped closer again. My nose was inches from his chest. I feared he was gonna do this. I was nervous about kissing another person. But I had to remind myself, I was a teenager and this is what we did right? This is what Sandy an Evie did? I bit my lip. I had goose bumps. The world was spinnin out of control.

But he was looking real good right now, with his hair all greased and wearin a tuff leather jacket. He smelt like cigarettes and aftershave. His body was radiating heat through his clothes. But that wasn't the only thing that emanated from his body.

His hand snuck behind my head and I leaned in pushing my lips against his. It was rough and I wasn't ready for it. I don't thi I even wanted too but I mean after a couple of seconds it was kinda nice. And then our lips started moving. It was a weird experience cause I couldn't tell if he was pushing me or I was still woozy.

And we were still kissin. And kissin some more and I felt his arms reach low on my back and pull the core of my body towards his. he was real warm. When I closed my eyes I felt like I was swayin so hard I coulda fell right on the ground. An we kept kissing an our chests pressed together.

And then I broke away. Not cause it was a bad kiss, cause I remember Two-Bit ramblin about a chick who he kissed and got all hanky panky with on the first date an he never called her again. I opened my eyes an he had a satisfied smile on his face and whispered in my ear,

"It's Charles." It gave me the shivers and I walked back towards the house, my mind weighed down with thoughts. An I guess that Curly Shepard was my first kiss. Lordy if only Darry knew.

But I mean I was glad I was ready for it, cause I was a teenager. Plus I had learned lots about kissin years before.

_February 1963_

_"Hi," I said quietly to Ponyboy. He just finished puttin the trash out. I sat on the front steps wrapped up in one of Darry's old football sweatshirts. He sat next to me and we waited for the sun to set._

_"I saw you tryin to talk to that Cherry girl," I tried to say it as nicely as possible. His face grew red. He took the cigarette our from behind his ear and struck a match on the steps. He took a long drag and passed it to me. His face was still red when he responded ,_

_"Girls are so confusin."_

_"you got that right. Guys can be just as bad!" I huffed, handing back the cancer stick_

_"You talkin bout Hector?" he smiled. It was my turn to get scarlet. He sat closer to me an wrapped his arms around my shoulders an shook me gently._

_"Datin an stuff is just, it seems like scary, you savy?" I snatched the cigarette from his fingers._

_"Yeah," he sighed, "I savy."_

_"Like just talkin to people an the words ain't commin out right!"_

_"I know. I end up just sayin nothin and gettin all embarrassed."_

_"Why do crushes have to exist," I buried my face into my hands. We were silent for a little while an I was glad he was close cause it was getting real cold._

_"I hope I don't screw up on my first kiss," he said._

_"Oh lord that would be embarrassing," I cringed, "imagine if you missed. Or it was all spitty."_

_"I thought it was supposed to be spitty."_

_"yeah but not like a fountain of saliva!"_

_"What if you burped!" Ponyboy laughed._

_"What if you knocked foreheads!"_

_"how are you supposed to know which way to turn your head?" I asked. He shrugged and I didn't say anything more until he ground the cigarette butt into the concrete._

_"I hope I'm a good kisser," Pony murmured shyly._

_"me too, I'd want the guy to tell me if I was a real screw up."_

_ He nodded in agreement. We directed our attention towards the sun that was just touching the horizon. It was a breathtaking kinda pretty._

_"we should practice," I whispered._

_"practice kissin?" He asked, cocking a eyebrow like Two-Bit does._

_"Yeah so then we will be ready. An so we won't be like fountains."_

_"that's a good idea," Pony said slowly. Then he added to justify himself," And we're like the same person so it's just like practice."_

_I turned my body to face his. His grey green eyes looked at my eyes, then traveled down to my lips. I licked my lips and so did he. It moved slow but fast. And our lips landed. And then we broke apart. It was real brief. We didnt know how long it was supposed to last, since it was practice an all._

_"it was a little wet," I commented._

_"I think you missed," he said to me. And then we went in again, for longer this time._

_"that wasnt as wet."_

_"you aimed better."_

_an now a third time and he tried something different. His lips pushed witha newfound drive. We started to move and he was going too fast I struggled to concentrate and keep up._

_We broke apart an realized the sun had set. Our breathing was haggard. And I nodded at him and he nodded at me and smiled. I set my head on his shoulder._

_"is that what making out is?" I asked._

_"I don't think so. There's supposed to be more touching I think."_

_"and tongue right?"_

_"yeah. Ill ask Soda, he'll know."_

_"Are you two planning to catch your death out here, or are you coming inside?" Mom a smiled at us opened the screen door and beckoned us in._

_"I found them Darryl!" She said to dad who was sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper with his spectacles on._

_"Where were they?"_

_"Having their sunset time," she called back._

_"I'm tellin ya it's actually half the work havin twins cause if you find one the other will be there!"_

* * *

The window was only cracked when I went back around the back of the house. It was at my neck level and real hard to push up. Ponyboy must've heard me cause he came an opened it.

"where've you been tonight?" He asked sticking his head out.

"Pony!" I smiled, " help me up and ill t-tell you all about my night!"

"Shhhh!" He said angrily," you don't want to wake Darry!" he extended his arm out the window and I grabbed on, trying to help myself up. I clambered through the window with an ugly enterance.

"Ponyobyy!" I said an excited whisper. I was still sitting on the cold ground with my skirt hiked high due to recent climbing. " I had so much fun tonight Ponyboy. We went to Mark's an we played games, I wish you were there."

"you went to Marks? I assume Darry don't know? And pull your skirt down!" He shielded his eyes.

"yeah I snuck out! through that very same window!" I said proudly. Getting up I walked over to my bed, kicking off my shoes.

"Are you drunk?" he asked from the other side of the room.

"you know what? I think I am!"

"Shhhh!" He warned," Darry will skin you if you wake him up. And you're drunk."

"hey atleast I didn't get caught," I giggled at him. He got red again an retorted,

"he wouldn'tve had a clue if Soda didnt go an make a big fuss about me getting sick."

"You spewed chunks all over the living room, nobody could've ignored that," I laughed.

"I guess I learned my lesson," he said sheepishly turning a bright crimson color.

"Do you have a cigarette?"

"c'mon you'll wake him up you know he hates smoking the in the house!"

"I don't give a damn!" I exclaimed holding out my hand. He gave me a hard look. I bet he didn't want to get in trouble neither. And maybe that's what I love bout Ponyboy. I don't know. It just feels good to have someone who really cares. Not like my other brothers. Pony an I were just different. Maybe that's why I cuddled up in his bed.

"Go to your own bed, America," he complained.

"I wish Sodapop didnt work so much so we could goof around more like old times," I sighed pulling the quilts closer. He didnt respond for a while but then he started tryin to push me out of his bed, tryin to roll me out actually.

"America come on!"

"An does he does is go out with Sandy. I mean, what's so special about her anyway?"

"You know what's to special about her," Ponyboy sighed, "she's real. Not like the other girls round here."

"But Two-Bit and Steve and Dally don't seem to mind girls that aren't like her. They're always talkin to them."

"It's just different, you know that."

"I dunno how anyone could date Soda anyway. He's always bouncin around and getting in arguments and fights just for kicks. I hope he puts spiders in _her_ bed when she's tryin to sleep."

"I think he's trying to do something different with her bed," he snickered.

"Ponyboy Michael!" I giggled uncontrollably," you dirty boy!"

* * *

**...did I make it too weird?**


	5. Chapter 5

Plates and silverware clinked together and the sound of the shower and the radio and the tv and the hootin an the hollerin was just too much. When I woke up, I was alone in Pony's bed. The hot southern sun was peeking through the curtain gaps.

I was still in the clothes from last night and it felt repulsive. I looked in the mirror and my face was a railroad map. I changed quickly and I hid my face with my hair. I mean to getmy hair cut but it keeps gettin longer and I kinda like it that way. It was reddish, just like Pony's.

Anyway, I must've scrubbed off a layer of skin. I never wanted to use make up again.

"Mornin, sleepin beauty!" Soda called cheerfully. His hair was still wet from the shower and it hung in his face. I smiled as a greeting.

"Well look who finally decided to join us!" Steve joined in. I tried to brush past him in the door way, but he took up the entire space. Our house was too small to hold all these boys in it.

"Awww c'mon lemme through!"he wrapped me in a head lock and dug his knuckles into my forehead.

"Hey!" Darry snapped, "go easy on the girl." Soda snorted and made a racy comment about Steve's love life. Chocolate milk threatened to shoot out of Ponyboy's nose.

"Hey Dal," Darry walked across the kitchen to where Dallas was sitting, muddy boots on top of the table," do you mind keepin an eye on these two today? We gotta run some errands."

"The twinies?" Dally scoffed, " yeah I'll tie em together and watch em to run in the opposite direction!" He acted out the scene with his hands and got a big laugh it of everyone. Despite the laughter, Dally did look real annoyed he had to watch us.

"What kind of errands?" I asked looking at Darry.

"Oh nothin much," Soda shrugged shovelin more cereal into his already stuffed mouth. He looked like a chipmunk.

"So tell us," Ponyboy insisted.

"Look, we're goin to get ya birthday presents," Steve said acidly.

"Our birthday is a little far away don't you think? Months away," I said.

"do you want presents or not?" Darry laughed. That shut me up real quick. But I did wonder what they were going to do. It must've been somethin bad if they had to hide it.

"All righty kiddies!" Dally announced springing to his feet with extreme false enthusiasm," lets get steppin." Pony scowled. But he wasn't about to say bull to Dallas Winston. We headed towards the door following Dally like ducklings.

"Hey!" Darry called,"don't do nothin stupid." He pointed at me and I saw Steve laugh.

"Shut up Steve!" I called back at I went out the door. He thinks he's so tuff. I can't wait till I'm seventeen.

* * *

"Where we headed, Dal?" Pony asked stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"Lets go see what our ol pal Johnnyboy is up to."

"Probably sleeping at this hour. Like a normal human being," I scoffed, my head still dizzy.

"Not everyone sleeps in till eleven on a Saturday," Pony argued. He grinned and decided to rub in my late night consequences,"Well unless they're really hun-" I shoved him into the street where he almost fell flat on his face. Dally threw his head back in a wicked laugh. I glared at my brother. He is a real pain.

We were about a block away from Johnny's house when a car's engine revved behind us. The screeching tires pulled up right beside us and Dally put on his best grimace. Pony stepped in front of me. Dally gripped my bare upper arm and forced my body behind his. He was real strong and I almost tripped on my shoe laces.

"Dont look," Dally growled at me. To all of our relief, it was only Two-Bit. I saw Ponyboy exhale and Dallas's face softened.

"Where are you greasers headed?" He leaned out the window.

"We were gonna go pick up Johnny," Pony replied resting on the car.

"Hop in, we can all go to the park or somethin," Two-Bit suggested.

"Hey actually, man," Dallas's eyes lit up," would you mind lookin after the ankle biters? I got some business with Tim I gotta settle."

"Sure man, where are the others?" Two-Bit asked.

"They're out runnin some errands," Dally hollered over his should as he strutted in the opposite direction.. Two-Bit nodded like he knew what all the code meant.

"SHOTGUN!" I yelled and raced into the passenger seat.

"That ain't fair, I'm older," Ponyboy complained climbing into the back seat.

"Yeah by what, four minutes?" Two-Bit laughed.

"More like eleven," Pony shouted over the car engine as it took off. That's the worst part about havin a twin. We always grew up together, so we always compete against eachother. And people always compare us. I can't make Ponyboy's grades and my teachers never fail to remind me. I'm not a real good athlete either. He has so many trophies and medals in his side of the room an I just have a picture of Elvis I stole outta a magazine.

"Besides it's looks better on me if I have a foxy broad in the front," Two-Bit winked and my cheeks got hot.

We pulled up outside Johnny's house and it sounded like his parents were already fightin. But nothin in paticular, just foul cuss words. The ones that Darry told me if someone ever said to me that I should tell him and he'll take care of it.

Johnny opened the door and his old man and lady were louder than I thought. He ducked at a plate being thrown against the wall before escapin out the door. I hated Johnny's parents. He was a real good guy and they treated him like garbage, makin him wear the same threads every year, choppin him down to nothin, and barely feedin him anythin at all.

We didn't like to talk about in front of him cause it was a real tricky subject so Two-Bit put in his award winnin grin and started the conversation as we drove away,

"So how did y'all's night end?!" Pony shrugged an told him,

"Nothin much we saw a move and then hung around the ribbon. Heard what's goin down."

"What about you, Two-Bit, where'd you run off to?" Johnny pipped up. His grin got even wider as Two-Bit told us he had met an older woman, and 'yeah she's blonde cause that's the only way I take em.' Boys are like animals. All they talk about is girls and cars. And then all they do is eat food and make things messy and loud and they make fun of you. So you know, their conversation was real boring to me. But I snapped out of my day dreams just along enough for Johnny to murmur,

"They're dealin with the thing today, right?" I perked right up and waited for Two-Bit to respond. But instead of answering, he deflected my attention,

"Hey, America, why don't I drop you off at my pad, Kimmy could use some company."

"No I want to hear the story!" But it was already too late cause the car laid a strip of rubber and sped in the opposite direction towards Two-Bit's house. I was told to get out and Two-Bit explained,

"There are just somethings good little ladies shouldn't know." He winked again and drove away leaving me in a cloud of smoky exhaust before I could even protest.

Kimberly Matthews greeted me at the door. She was a lot like Two-Bit, only shorter; but she had the same stocky build. An the same gray eyes, an her hair was lighter and redder than his, it matched his sideburns. She was a grade younger an me just she was fun to hang with, humorous I think that's the word. Kimmy was real easy to talk to, an I was is crabby by mood so I guess I let loose a little much.

"I just don't get why they gotta hide everythin! An Darry keeps on hollerin at me to 'be a lady', whatever in Christ's name that means! When they ain't acting more civilized than barn animals!"

"yeah sometimes its hard when my old lady isn't around cause Two-Bit does the same type of thing," she was absent mindly paintin her nails and I was pacin around her bedroom. I stumbled upon some interestin literature.

"What are these?" I asked her picking up the pamphlets.

"Oh, my mom gave one of those and the others my doctors gave me," she said her eyes not leaving her red fingers.

"Is it all true?" I asked her flicking through one of them, "_Abstinence will keep girls pure and free of judgement at the pearly gates, _yadda yadda_, Sexual diseases caused by sexual activity, can result in painful sores, warts, and even discoloration? _Ewwww! that sounds rank!"_  
_

"Well yeah that stuff happens if you sleep around."

"But I heard Darry and Soda tellin Pony that if he uses protection it won't happen," I said slowly. They also gave him one of those skin mags and talked about the hot chicks in them.

One time, I snuck it out from underneath his matress must to see what was inside. Girls with bare chests and full breasts shocked my eyes.

"He can take that chance if he wants. Its just better to stay away from all that," she shrugged. I heard, from the boys, of lots of girls who had gone all the way with a guy,

"Do you get one of these _sexually transmitted diseases _every time you do the deed?"

"You can," she replied looking me in the eyes. It felt a little embarrassing that Kimmy was only thirteen and knew more about stuff like that than me. I wanted to ask her so many more questions. But it was too mortifying.

"I wonder why they never warned me all about all this bad stuff. But it's not like they tell me about anythin anyway. They're off running some secret errand today!"

Kimmy bolted up straight,

"Wait I think I overheard Keith talking to one of his buddies about that."

"what'd they say?" I pressed urgently.

"I think it was something like your brother owes people a lot of money."

* * *

**Oooh but which brother is it?! guesses, predictions? Send them my way!**


	6. Chapter 6

"Which brother? Kimmy! I have three!" I was ready to shake the answers outta her. I guess I scared her a little bit too much cause she put her hands up in defense and replied,

"I don't know!" I had to find out. And my own family wouldn't tell me. But I didn't wanna run around town screamin about my family's problems. You just didn't talk about that sorta stuff. What happens at home stays at home, Darry tells me. I'm not really sure if he believes it, or just says it cause that's what Dad always said when Pony and I asked about Steve's mom.

But there's gotta be some greasy hood on this side of town that would what's goin on in my own home.

"Tim Shepard," I whispered.

"What?" Kimmy asked. I barely heard her. I was runnin out the front door.

* * *

Now that I was standin in from of the Shepard's house, it didnt seem like a great idea to come here. Pony told me the Shepards had a step father that wasn't the friendliest guy in the world. He didnt sound like it either. An I was only standin outside the gate. I didn't wanna interrupt whatever they were fightin about.

But I guess I was really absorbed into my own thoughts cause I didn't even see or hear Angela sneak out the side door.

"America, what a lovely surprise," he smiled sickeningly. I swear that girl can smell fear.

"I need to talk to your brother."

"Who, Curly?" She smirked at me.

"No," I shook my head," Tim."

"Tim?" she looked confused.

"Yeah I gotta ask him somethin," I said tryin to act cool.

"We'll I mean, go ahead and ask him," she gestured to the house. I suppose it was Tim hollerin, and not the step dad. She must've seen the look on my face cause she turned for me to follow her away from the house and said,

"Give him couple hours, then it'll be better. let's go find some fun." My gut immediately did a summer sault. Fun for Angela Shepard was different than my idea of fun.

But Angela was tuff and all the guys loved her. Maybe thats what made me follow her. Maybe my train of thought was that I hung around with her more I could learn what made her so special. Other than being gorgeous, of course. Maybe should could help me figure this stuff out, after all she did agree to goin to the store to buy maxi pads with me.

We walked down Pickett Street and I saw how she swung her hips side to side. I did not have hips to swing. I guess it was all the walking around town kept her legs looking nice. I made a mental note to start walking more.

Cars honked and she scowled. Eventually we stopped walking and she pointed,

"Lets go in here."

"Jays?" I asked,

"No, the other massive building right in front of us," she rolled her eyes. It didn't make me feel too hot. We walked in and took two seats at the counter. It must've been the lunch time rush cause there were lots of people.

"Uh, I don't have any money on me," I confessed to her over the roar of other customers. She laughed and said,

"neither do I." She turned around and leaned her elbows on the table scopin out the other diners. They were mostly older guys, sometimes with a few other buddies or on a date.

Angela made eyes with a group of three boys. She winked. They walked over. She twirled her hair. They introduced themselves. But I'm pretty sure they already knew who she was.

"how are you babes doin?" One of em smiled. His teeth fit perfectly in a row. Guess he dont fight much.

Angela sighed dramatically and responded,

"A little parched, to be honest." And that's how we got free cokes. I woulda preferred Pepsi, but I already felt bad that I was getting this for free so I didn't say nothin. I was too grateful and embarrassed that I couldn't buy my own drink so I didn't talk much while they oogled over Angela.

"We'll I don't know much about that, but my friend here," she kicked me hard underneath the table to snap me out of my bored stupor," she goes to rodeos all the time."

"Yeah?" The tall one with blonde hair asked me," What's your name, babe?"

"America," I responded. He shook his head with a smile,

"No not where you're from babe, your name." I couldn't help but get a little annoyed. It's not like I hadn't heard that one before.

"My bad, I don't really speak idiot." Angela shot me a glare. I guess I wasn't doin to hot at this flirting thing. So I tried again. I attempted to say the kinda things she was sayin,

"Yeah I used to ride the rodeo, you gents look like a couple a thrill chasers, how many bulls have you sat?"

"I won a belt out in the OKC," the shorter one sitting on my left replied.

"Wow!" Angela said as if she was impressed," That seems like a wild ride!" It really didnt. The OKC has terrible rodeos with bulls you'd swear were 80 years old. It was a way for the big city to feel like they were part of the Wild West.

I didn't really hear what they said cause I was slurpin my coke. I think I he was bragging about his 'wild ride.' The ice at the bottom of my glass was more interestin than any of their 'rodeo' stories.

I couldn't believe he was still talkin about that. Must've been like twenty minutes by now.

"Hey would you boys mind getting us a refill?" Angela interrupted rudely. I smuggled a snigger. The one who wouldn't shut up looked a little stunned. But he replied,

"Uh, sure, no problem." Him and his friends walked away and Angela gripped my arm. Instantly she was on her feet, draggin my corpse with her. I stumbled as we weaved in an out of the crowd. We were headed towards the door and the little bell above rang as we exited.

I didn't say anything. I just followed her as we walked back the way we came. She lit a cigarette she pulled out of her bra and complained,

"Christ I never thought they'd shut up." I felt bad for leavin. I felt bad for hookin a coke outta those boys. But I didn't wana tell Angela that. Plus, I mean, a free drink means more money for heat this winter. So was I all that bad? Maybe I was like Robin Hood.

"They were total flakes anyway. Not even cute, right?" She asked. But I didn't really feel like she was askin me.

* * *

We found Curly leanin against the front porch post of his house chain smokin. Angela swiped the cancer stick outta her brother's mouth and he swore at her somethin fierce. She spit the same vulgar language back. While she was cussin him out, he noticed I was there too. I guess Curly needs his eyes checked

"America? What are you doin here?" There was venom in his voice. I felt crestfallen. Why didnt he want to see me? Did I dribble coke on my blouse on accident? Did he notice the zit on my chin? Was seeing him a day after the party too soon? Steve always said he waited three days to call a girl back after a date.

"Just commin to commit arson," I said dryly. Angela laughed at my joke but Curly still had a stony look on his face. The same expression Dally gives me when I change the tv channel on him.

"Come on, Mer," Angela stomped out her butt," He should be inside."

"Tim?!" I hear him ask as the door slammed.

"Hey Tim!" Angela screamed. It was really loud and I guess he thought so too cause he replied,

"Shut your trap Ang, I'm right here." He was right there. Sitting in the recliner. His face was dark and he was sharpening a blade. He looked tall even sitting down. But he wasn't a Darry kind of tall, he was more spread out and not built like a brick shit house like my oldest brother. He reminded me of a cat, watchin our every move and ready to strike at any moment.

"Whos this?" He asked, gesturing to me with the knife.

"America Curtis," she replied walking away into the kitchen.

"you tellin me there's more of you?" He asked.

"Nah I'm the last one," I shrugged. I didn't leave an he kept sharpening his knife. It made a cool metallic sound. He looked up a few minutes later and asked with annoyance,

"Can I help you?"

"Yes actually," I replied. I think that him surprised him.

"What did the bully down the street steal your bike?" He teased. Now I get why Two-Bit always said him and Dally were two of the same.

"No, don't you think I could handle that?"

"I figured your brothers would."

"We'll that's why I'm here, cause they won't help me with somethin." he looked up momentarily. A silence passed between us. I started talkin again,

"I guess one of my brothers owes some people some money. But they won't tell me who an what an where." His attention returned to his knife immediately,

"It's none of my business to be tellin you."

"Why not?"

"Family matters," he shrugged.

"But you know."

"Sure I know."

"So tell me."

"No." I had no clue what I could do now. What was I gonna do, threaten Tim Shepard? All five foot one of me takin on him? It was real frustratin and I was graspin at straws.

"I know Dally has somethin of yours."

"Yeah? And how do you know that?" He asked.

I didn't. I had no idea. All I knew was that dally and him fight an awful lot.

"cause I saw him with it. I can get it back for you."

"I doubt you can do that."

"Try me. And if I don't, then you can go an squeal to my brothers all about this."

"You know what," he smiled sitting forward in his chair, "Why the hell not? I got nothin to loose."

"So what's goin on with my brothers?"

"Why should I tell you when I don't even have what's mine yet?"

"What do you have to lose?" Tim had an annoyed scowl on his face. He practically drug the words out of his own mouth.

"Alright kiddo, listen up good cause I ain't repeatin it and you never heard it from me. So one of your brothers, not Darry or the one that's Curly's age, the middle one-"

"Sodapop," his name fell outta my mouth and Tim was miffed I interrupted him,"sorry." He just looked at me for a couple seconds an I thought I blew it. But he kept talkin,

"We'll apparently Sodapop was down at the horse races puttin his paychecks on ponies that didnt win. So he had to go into some debt with some people. And they don't like it when people don't pay up, yeah? So they're going to solve this whole ordeal I assume. In the daylight when it's safer." I was stunned for a little while. I couldnt think of words to say.


	7. Chapter 7

**So I didn't even plan on the content in this chapter, it sort of just happens so you MUUUST tell me what you think!**

* * *

"Did he ever win?" I asked Tim.

"Sure kid, why do you think he wanted to keep goin?"

"What kind of people was he gettin the money from?"

His eyes flicked up to meet mine for the first time in the conversation. They were dark and stormy like.

"Dont ask about the people. dont ask where you get shit from. Thought you wouldda learned that one." I didnt say anything else. I stood up not taking my yes off thr eooden floors. And just as I was about to shut the front door he called,

"Have what I need by Friday."

* * *

It was a trek home and as much as I wanted my legs to look like Angela's the walking was too much, and I kicked off my shoes before I was in the front door. All I wanted to do was collapse on the couch, but instead Two-Bit hurled me up on his shoulders and twirled me around.

"Where did you run off to?" He exclaimed. His eyes weren't sunken or red, so I guess he was just acting drunk when he slurred his words and almost dropped me on the coffee table.

"I just went down town to get a Pepsi," I said. Lying was getting way too easy.

"Thank glory you came back, I'd hate to be the one to tell Darry I lost his kid sister."

"Where are the Johnny and Ponyboy?"

"They're runnin around all of Tusla looking for you!" He steadied himself on my shoulders. I felt a little bad at that, I didn't mean to cause that much trouble. I bet Ponyboy was worried.

"Good thing, I don't wanna get cussed out by Darry. And you know whose much he loves to yell at me," I plopped on the couch sighing. Two-Bit stumbled and crashed edging next to me,

"Ah that ain't true, America. He just don't know how to raise a girl. Have all us rowdy boys around sure ain't easy. Savy?" He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"What by never lettin me outta the house?! An always sayin that I shouldn't look like a piece of trash an that I need to go to college? I don't got Pony's grades an Two-Bit you know that an everybody knows that! I'm not Pony an I'm not good enough for anything else according to him!" I threw my hands up in frustration. Two-Biy sighed and headed towards the kitchen. He came back with two bottles of beer. Man, I coulda snatched one of them right out of his hand. Instead he downed one in record time and started sippin on the second, leaving not astray drop to steady my emotions.

"Alrighty. Listen here," he closed his eyes, waving his bottle at me," Boys and girls, are just different, you dig?"

"yeah, Mom already gave me this sorta talk," I blushed.

_November 1960_

_"Ow!" I howled, "Mooom! Soda hit me!" He giggled and I rubbed my bruising arm._

_"Did not!" He scoffed._

_"Play nice!" I hear Mom from in the kitchen. Dad was at work, Pony was outside reading and Darry home in his room._

_ Mom never actually got mad at my brothers and neither did Dad, you know unless they really screwed up. But usually when Dad was at work and Mom was home she complained of not havin all the time to play or discipline us while keepin up the housework. But don't take me wrong she did take us to the park lots and played games. But she couldn't always stop the treachery of my brothers. Maybe that's where I learned to hit back._

_ I swung and punched him right in the gut. It hurt my hand more than it hurt his stomach. Soda's eyes lit a flame, and he tackled me onto the living room floor. I scraped my back on a loose nail and as I skidded and he pinned my shoulders. Curlin my legs up, I launched him off of me into the side of the couch._

_"Knock it off you two!" Mom was getting real mad now and I wish I noticed, but Soda and I kept fighting. He laughed whenever I tried to strike him and that only made me more angry. I started to reach for his hair but he just grabbed and twisted my arm. It hurt somethin fierce but I didn't wana let him know. I tried to wriggle out of his grip but he was so much stronger._

_and then I somethin made a loud _SNAP!_ sound. I shrieked out of pain and fear. I thought my arm was ripped from my body. Tears started to involuntarily fall from my eyes and I ran down the hall._

___"America?" Mom asked with concern in her voice._

_"Darry!" I called running for his door. Darry sometimes picked on me the worst out of my brothers. But other times he would take up my fight, just for fun. But then other times all three of them would gang up on my and put worms in my hair. I reached his door, and pushed it open._

_I forgot Darry was now a sixteen year old and always wanted us to knock. I forgot he had changed a lot and grew taller and ate more. I forgot he had just got out of the shower._

_But there was Darry standing in front of me, butt naked. I looked him in the eyes first and then directly below the belt. I froze, and my arm didn't hurt any more. I shrieked again in surprise._

_"America!" Darry roared. I never hear him this mad before,"Get out!" He slammed the door right in my face, the knob slamming into my nose._

_mom put a bag of frozen peas on my arm and I had to keep it bandaged for a week. She put Soda in a timeout in the corner but he just kept tappin his bare feet on the floor. While she was holdin the cold veggies to my arm she started to explain in a quite gentle voice,_

_"You can't just barge in on Darry, he's grown up a lot recently and likes his privacy."_

_"is that why he's got that thingy in between his legs?" I asked._

_"all boys have that, sweetie," she tried to hide her musical laughter._

_"All of them?" I asked incredulously, "Even Pony and Reverend Wilson and Dad and Dallas and Mr. Perkins and-"_

_"yes all of them," she nodded, __"it's just the way they were made. Girls have different parts. It's the way God made us."_

_"What it for?" I asked._

_"What's what for?"_

_"The dangler that all boys have."_

_"Tell you when you're older."_

"different," Two-Bit continued, "Guys and gals are just opposites. Usually chicks wanna get into make up and other lame shit round your age now."

"But I don't want to. See, I'm not lame! I just wana play football with you guys. But Darry an Soda won't even let me do that no more."

"Cause girls with cuts and scrapes are gross."

"I don't think so."

"Social services thinks so," he grinned. I sat back thinkin about all his drunken wisdom.

"But my grades are good enough for social services and Darry hollers about those too. Says how I can't be more like Pony. I just ain't him, you dig?!"

"Look he just needs you to go to college so you can find a husband," Two-Bit said dismissively. It sounded like an answer to shut me up, but it was shocking to hear. I think he was sick of hearin me complain.

"To get a husband? you've got to be foolin."

"It's the only reason chicks go to college anyway," he said simply. I couldn't believe it. I thought there was so much more like college was the place where you do protest and learn all about the world. What a scam.

* * *

Two-Bit kept on ramblin about god knows what. Sounded like he was just readin the license plates as we sped by on Main Street. He insisted he was sober enough to drive, and I figured he must've done it before so it really was no big problem. We headed downtown on the ribbon to find Johnny and Pony.

Pony forced me into the backseat this time where I sat next to Johnny.

"We were lookin all over for you when Kimmy said you left," Johnny said.

"Where'd you guys go?"I asked timidly, wondering if Kimmy gave away my plan.

"Movie theater, DX, the park, the lot," Pony counted on his fingers. I breathed easy, good thing Kimmy ain't a nark.

Two-Bit told me again not to tell Darry. I guess he really was afraid of gettin wrecked.

We got inside and Johnny agreed to help me put a cake in the oven. Our timing was perfect cause we had just been home for what felt like seconds when Steve, Soda an Darry returned. I couldn't even look Soda in the eye. I guess he caught it too.

"What wrong, America?" He asked while sticking his finger in cake batter. I thought since I was good at lyin I'd be good at not showin how I felt neither. Guess I was wrong. I just shook my head. He kept eatin the uncooked cake until I smacked him hard on the hand. We backed into the living room with a curious look on his face. He didnt look like a kid who just risked his whole familys safety.

"Ponyboy why in Sam Hill is your window open? Do you want a hornets nest on your headboard?" I heard Darry scold. I froze. There was evidence of my late night escapades littered all over our room. Plus Pony knew all about it.

"Sorry Dar, I was hot last night."

l guess Pony is good at lying, too.


End file.
